He believed writing would ease his painful memory of the sudden outburst at the mosque. ‘No one will ever read this,’ he thought. ‘No one in their right mind will know what I’m going through,’ and before his mother called him for breakfast, he wrote in his notebook and directed his puzzling and confusing thoughts towards Allah himself.‘Why am I damned?’ he began. ‘Why am I filled with such falsehoods? I’m placed on this earth for no reason at all. I have no money. I don’t have an education. The only stuff I see is the stuff in my mind. The floating image of this slinky gyration, sometimes in motion, and for some reason all that I perceive must be false. I hardly know how to read, and writing this becomes difficult, because I lack the brain power to do anything for the common good, and here I sit at this cramped table, my mother most likely sleeping, and the morning light blares through my window like some forgotten tune. Why, dear Allah, must the light always be followed by darkness,. So here sara was, sitting between Mr. Harris andMommy on a jumbo jet on her way to South America. sara had been out partying the night before she left. She seemed to be outpartying all the time after her 16 th birthday. She had thrown her clothesand gun together when she got in It was Daddy's old shotgun, a fine Englishside-by-side 20 gauge Mr. Harris had given him. She knew she could sleep onthe flight. Her partying had lasted well into the night and she and some older collegegirls she was friends with had hooked up with some fraternity boys, smokedsome dope, drank quite a bit and then she had given head to 3 of the boys asthey drove her home, each crawling into the backseat of the Tahoe to take theirturn. sara was very careful to not do anything with boys at her school. Shehad a reputation in high school as a ?goodie goodie' and a tease. She lovedto work up her boyfriends from high school, letting them occasionally touchher titties , which had grown to small 34d's during the last.
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